The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
