maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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