I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
