I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
