Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
