I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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