He uses pillows to masturbate.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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