I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
