Umm I'm too high to move.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
