420 ftw
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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