It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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