Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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