You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
