perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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