I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize