i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
