you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
