I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
