what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
