Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
