i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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