Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
