I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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