This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
