I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
