I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
