I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize