im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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