Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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