I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
