What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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