I cockslap morals
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
