that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize