im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
