Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
