Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
