Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
