you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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