It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
