i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
