I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We got so high we made milksteak
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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