so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
