Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
another moral hangover. fuck.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
