Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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