Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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