It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
