I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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