Where did you get a picture of my penis
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
