Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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