you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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