Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
