I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
