Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
