There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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