A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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