rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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