Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
well you can't waste a boner
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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