I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
