We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
