my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
