Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
