I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
