Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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