I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
