More tranny stories later!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
