a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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