how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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