so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
