At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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