No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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