You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
