So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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