just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
