OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
