For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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