There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
