well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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