I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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