But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
