But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
