I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
