I am in a vortex of obligation.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
